Absent then...Present Now

Do you ever feel like your father’s absence in your childhood is very present in your adult life? What choices and decisions are you subconsciously making that are the result of feelings you have regarding, or behaviors you’ve developed from your father’s absence?

A girl’s father should be her example of what love from a man looks like. Not only by the way he treats her, but how he loves and respects her mother, his mom, his sisters, his church, and his neighbors. When a girl doesn't experience this love she's at a higher risk of having self-esteem issues, becoming sexually active at a young age, and making poor relationship decisions.

Are you constantly seeking a man’s attention? Any man? As long as it’s a man. Are you avoiding men? Are you that girl who doesn’t need a man, or are you one who’s given yourself over to too many men? Or have you said forget men and you’re now pursuing other women?

For so long, many have talked about how much boys need their fathers; and it’s true. However, I believe we need to also consider the impacts a father’s absence makes girls and women. How does a father’s absence, whether by physical or emotional abandonment or death affect the choices and decisions, and behaviors of their daughters?

Absent fathers are not always out of the home. There are fathers that are in the home and physically present, but emotionally and mentally they are very distant. Many are excellent providers financially, but emotionally, their family is bankrupt. The only emotion their family receives is the negative energy of disappointment, neglect, or anger. Just because a father is in the house doesn’t mean he’s engaged in raising the children, dating his wife, providing for his family or setting examples for his sons, playing catch or coaching little league.

If a man is in the home, but he’s not working or taking care of the children, or the home, in my opinion, is not an example of a good father or husband or boyfriend for that matter. Hell, a good friend! Even a good friend wants to do whatever they can to help. If this isn’t making your life easier in some way, one might want to consider his worth.

The important thing here is to know YOUR worth. You are more than your father’s absence.

Photo by Nick Owuor (astro.nic.visuals) on Unsplash